Ahana
I woke up from a deep slumber, startled by a sudden knock on the door.
My eyes fluttered open as I sat up abruptly. I blinked a few times trying to take in my surroundings. The unfamiliar room made my brows furrow in confusion. This is not my room, I had never seen this place before.
Panic stirred in my chest....I tried to recall the events before I had fallen asleep. Slowly, fragments of memory began to surface. The overwhelming weight of yesterday came rushing back like a tidal wave, and I sat there frozen, letting the images crash over me.
Another knock snapped me out of my daze.
I threw the blanket off and walked to the door. When I opened it, a young girl stood there with her head lowered, posture stiff and professional.
"Who are you?" I asked, confusion still clouding my voice. I had never seen her in my life.
She raised her eyes just slightly and said in a composed tone, "Hello ma'am. I am one of the maids in this house. Sir asked me to check on you. Please get ready."
I listened to her carefully and then replied to her with a 'ok' nod.
She gave a polite nod and turned to leave as I closed the door.
I turned back into the room, my legs giving way as I sat down heavily on the edge of the bed. My head dropped into my hands as I clutched my hair and shut my eyes tight.
What now? How will I manage everything? I whispered to myself, the thoughts twisting inside me like thorns. I felt like I was slowly losing my mind.
Minutes passed in silence, my overthinking pulling me deeper into anxiety. I shook my head, letting out a deep breath.
'Jo hoga dekha jayega'
(We'll see whatever happens)
I pushed myself up and walked into the washroom. The cold water on my face helped just a little, grounding me. I took my time inside, freshened up, and came out after an hour dressed in a simple white anarkali. I combed my hair neatly, added a faint touch of gloss to my lips, and stood in front of the mirror for a brief second.
Let's do this!
I stepped out of the room and made my way downstairs. As I descended, I saw a line of maids standing with their heads bowed respectfully near the dining area.
And he was sitting at the dining table having his breakfast in silence. His posture was regal, his gaze focused on his plate as he ate with quiet authority.
My heartbeat spiked just at the sight of him.
Steadying my breath, I walked slowly towards him and came to a halt beside his chair.
He must have sensed my presence as he paused eating and without even looking up, he placed his spoon down on the plate.
"Out," he said coldly.
The maids left instantly, their slippers tapping lightly against the floor as they disappeared behind the walls.
I turned to go as well, assuming I was included in that dismissal.
"Where are you going?" his voice rang.
I turned back slowly, our eyes meeting for the first time that morning.
"D... didn't you just say to leave?" I asked softly, fiddling with the edge of my dupatta, my gaze fixed somewhere near his shoulder, unable to meet his eyes properly.
"That was for the maids," he replied with a cold glare. "Come and sit."
I hesitated, shifting awkwardly on my feet.
"Par... ladkiyon ko to hamesha baad mein khana chahiye na?" I murmured, still playing with the fabric in my hands.
(But... girls should always eat later, right?)
He exhaled sharply and replied without patience, "Yaha aake abhi khaogi ya poora din bhooki rahogi! Choice is yours."
(Come here and eat now or stay hungry the whole day...)
His tone was dry, as if this was just another inconvenience in his otherwise perfect morning.
I sat down slowly, quietly serving myself a small portion of food. I lowered my eyes, trying to focus on eating though my mind was racing.
I could feel his eyes on me and suddenly his voice rang out, "Well, congratulations Mrs. Malhotra... your husband is a billionaire... so you don't have to take the responsibility to save food and eat like a bird."
I was already halfway through my plate, taking small bites, quietly chewing when his words hit me. My hand paused midair, spoon still in my grip. I didn't dare look up.
I looked down as I replied hesitantly,
"w..wo... I.. I eat this much only"
"Wrong!" he said in a firm and cold tone, I looked at him, lifting my gaze a little, trying to read his expression, but it was blank... and then he continued, "you... used to eat that much... but here your quantity of your food will arise... cause you know what? I just married you for revenge... not for doing expenses on doctors."
I swallowed his words hit me like a harsh blow and moreover, now, it doesn't affect me. I'm associated with showing me my actual worth. And also it's true that he had to do unwanted expenses because of me.
Without giving him a proper reply, I slowly reached out to serve a more half spoon of food but before I could even let it touch my plate, he held the spoon and stopped me. His fingers carefully avoided mine, as if even a brush of contact would infect him... as if I'm an allergy to him.
I looked at him with a questioning gaze... but like always, he didn't bother himself to look at me or reply.
Without a word, he took the spoon from my hand, making sure not to touch me even by mistake and started serving me himself. He added two big spoonfuls of food on my plate and again continued his breakfast.
"I...I can't eat this much," I said, my eyes widening slightly at the quantity.
"And do you think I care if you can or not? You'll eat this full and that's an order." He said with a cold gaze towards me.
After few minutes he was done with his breakfast but mine one was not even emptying a bit.
Suddenly his phone started ringing he looked at the name then turned his gaze towards me, "I should see your plate is empty before I return," he said, and then after a pause, his voice dropped low, laced with threat,
"or else the consequences won't be good."
The whisper sent a chill inside my body, like ice crawling through my veins.
I quickly started filling my mouth with food, and at the end I emptied the plate before he came.
After few minutes he came inside, he first looked at me then at the plate, and was about to leave from there when he paused on his track and looked at me.
At the time the maids also came and started doing their chores in the kitchen, but... they also stole glances from him, which I noticed earlier too but didn't ask anything. I thought maybe they were confused to see a new person here.
Suddenly I heard his footsteps echoing loudly, I looked in his direction and saw him coming towards me with long, angry steps. Before I could say anything or even realise what was happening, he grabbed my hand in a tight grip.
Without a word, he started pulling me, heading upstairs. His long strides didn’t match mine, and I kept stumbling to keep up. "Aastik ji… Kya kr Rhee hai aap… Please chhoriye mujhe," I said, trying to pull my hand back, but he didn’t listen.
("Aastik ji... What are you doing... Please leave me.")
Instead, he started walking even faster, his grip tightening more. My heart began to pound, and tears welled up in my eyes. I didn’t know why, but I was feeling really scared.
He suddenly opened the door of the room I stayed in and pushed me inside, making me fall on the sofa.
I quickly held my wrist where he had gripped me. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I looked at him, my eyes filled with fear.
"Kya dikhana chahti ho tum!" he shouted.
(What are you trying to prove?)
His voice echoed in the room, and I flinched in fear. This… this is exactly how papa used to shout at mumma. It’s so scary… so loud… it makes my heart shrink.
I didn’t even realise when he walked up to me, but I snapped back to my senses when he suddenly held my face harshly, forcing me to look into his eyes.
"You're no one to me, nor will you ever be," he said through gritted teeth, his jaw tight with anger. "But to the world, you're the WIFE of AASTIK MALHOTRA."
I lowered my eyes, my voice barely a whisper. "I... know."
He stared at me like I was the dumbest creature alive.
He turned around and walked to the dressing table, pulling open one of the drawers. I watched as he grabbed something and came back towards me.
His eyes burned into mine as he stopped in front of me. He leaned in close to my face and hissed, "If you know that very well… then where is your sindoor?"
My breath caught. My eyes widened in fear and sudden realisation.
'How could I forget to wear sindoor?'
'He is my husband… no matter how many times I try to deny it.'
'How can I be so silly?'
I looked at him and whispered, "I... I... forgot... I'm sor—"
But before I could even complete my words, he filled the parting of my hair with sindoor again, just like the last day, only that time it was with... b..blood.
I froze on my spot, I looked at him only to find his gaze already on my face. His eyes were as cold as ever. There was rage on his face, his jaw tightly clenched, and a line of sindoor had fallen on my nose. I just kept looking at him. And he... he was staring back at me in silence.
I kept looking at him, and so is he... He already was done wearing me sindoor my his and still in my forehead, no one of us wear ready to break the eye contact, The eyes which scared me to hell that I couldn't even look at them for more than a second and right now I'm staring at them.
They are ice cold, as if covered with millions of invisible walls.
Suddenly his phone started ringing which brought us back to senses. He moved back a little, making some distance between us and cutting his call.
Then he again looked at me,
"Agar tum apni poori koshish kar rahi ho apne parents ko sahi sabit karne ki, to bhool jao. Unhone hi bola tha na... Koi v rishte ke bagair tumhe kaise lau... Aur ab jab itna bada TAG laga ke ghoomne ka moka mila, to tum apna dimaag zyada laga rahi ho...right? Kya laga log sochenge ki ek unmarried, young ladki ko main ghar laya aur tumhara plan kam karjayega, mere naam ko criticise karne ka?"
(If you’re trying your best to prove your parents right, then forget it. They were the ones who said, how can I bring you home without any relationship? And now that you’ve got such a big TAG to walk around with, your brain is working too much… right? What did you think? That people will say I brought an unmarried, young girl into my house and your plan to ruin my name will actually work?
"M..mey sach bol rahi hu... mujhe aadat nahi thi to mey v..bhul gayi thi," I said, looking down in shame. He was right. The maids must have thought the same, staring at me like I was a ghost.
(I-I'm telling the truth... I wasn't used to it, so I-I forgot...)
"To abse aadat lagalo... Ye sindoor abhi tumhari ek nayi pehchaan hai. Isko dimag mein jitni jaldi bithaogi, utna hi achha hoga tumhare liye," he said, before turning and leaving from there.
(So start getting used to it… this sindoor is your new identity now. The sooner you accept it, the better it’ll be for you)
I stayed there, sitted stunned by the incident that had just happened. I was feeling numb, like my body had frozen in time, unable to process what just took place.
After a few minutes, I stood up and slowly walked towards the same drawer from where he had taken out the sindoor. My heart was beating unevenly as I opened it, and just as I had thought... there was a Mangalsutra.
I took it out carefully, A sharp 'A' was carved in the middle, with a sword piercing through it. It looked dangerous, yet beautiful... just like him.
"What did I thought just now?" I murmured to myself, stunned by my own thoughts.
"I should keep my distance from him... he is dangerous, utterly. The more I see him, the more I get scared."
"I get scared by his presence, his gaze, his movements... how will I live with him under the same roof!" I whispered to myself looking at nothing specifically.
But the answer was nowhere to be found in my mind. I shook my head, trying to push the thoughts away. I slowly wore the Mangalsutra, sealing a bond I didn’t know how to handle.
The cold chain touched my neck and hung down gloriously. I looked at my reflection in the mirror.
"Just a mangalsutra and sindoor is extra in me, but why does my whole self seem to have changed... it’s as if I’m seeing a new version of myself," I whispered, my eyes locked with the reflection. "And this self is not Ahana Dey... it’s Ahana Aastik Malhotra."
I said it to no one but me. Yet, my own words echoed in my ears, ringing loudly like a harsh reality I couldn’t escape.
I came out of the room and stood near the stairs. The whole hall was silent, an eerie stillness hanging in the air.
Suddenly, I felt something wet and cold brushing against my legs. I jumped from my place, my hand instinctively flying to my chest, trying to calm my racing heart.
I looked down to see what it was, only to find Duggu staring up at me innocently, sitting like a cute little teddy bear, his ears flopping adorably.
A small smile crept onto my lips as I crouched down. "How are you, baby?" I whispered, running my fingers gently through his soft fur.
He leaned into my touch, eyes closing in bliss, and started rubbing his head against my lap.
"Thank God you’re here in this house, Duggu. Or else... I don’t know what would have happened to me. In this big haveli, you’re the only one with whom I already feel comfortable," I said, hugging him tightly and planting a soft kiss on his forehead.
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At night
After doing literally nothing all day except playing with Duggu, I finally thought to unpack my luggage.
I started taking out my clothes one by one when my eyes fell on the same soft pink kurti... the one that had carved itself into my memories like a scar.
I stared at the kurti as I slowly sat down on the bed. The memories of that haunting night began flashing before my eyes.
"Who would love a girl like you?"
"You’re nothing but a burden."
Tears streamed down my cheeks as the damage Kabir had caused to my life echoed in my mind.
I crouched where I was, hugging the kurti tightly against me. "How could you, Kabir..."
"Am I really... really that bad?" I whispered, my hoarse voice and shallow breaths making my words stumble into each other.
The tears didn’t stop any soon, it was getting heavy with each passing second. His every memory from before that night kept flashing before my eyes. Were those words shallow? Were those promises fake? I wondered, the thought making my heart ache even more.
His face wouldn’t leave my mind his smile, his anger, his care, his voice... How can I forget you, Kabir?
My eyes were burning with tears. I looked at the window, out at the stars, thinking of nothing but him.
Was all my love for nothing? All the feelings, the promises, the memories, did it all go in vain? I asked my mind, but it gave me no answer.
It felt as if my own mind was challenging me with something I couldn’t understand.
But still... thank you, God, for giving me this reality check before things could go even further.
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Ahana was still looking outside the window, lost in her own world, unaware that all this time, from the moment her tears had started falling, there was someone watching her silently.
Someone who stood there, eyes fixed on her, with no emotion on their face... and then left quietly, melting into the shadows.
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Hey Roses,
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